Toys for two: where to start
How to Introduce Sex Toys Into Your Relationship
Bringing sex toys into your relationship can be a fun, exciting way to explore new sensations together. Yet for many couples, the hardest part isn’t choosing a toy. It’s starting the conversation.
The good news is that toys are more common than ever, and most partners are curious too. In this guide, we’ll show you how to bring up the topic, choose your first couples’ toy and make the experience enjoyable for both of you.
Why Couples Use Sex Toys
Sex toys aren’t a replacement for a partner. They’re a way to add something new. Couples use them for many reasons:
- To try new sensations that are hard to create with hands alone.
- To make pleasure easier for both partners, especially when one partner needs more stimulation to reach orgasm.
- To add playfulness and variety to a long-term relationship.
- To feel closer. Exploring something new together builds trust and communication.
Using toys together is simply another way to learn about each other’s bodies and what you both enjoy.
How to Start the Conversation
Talking about toys can feel awkward at first, but a few simple steps can make it easy and natural.
Choose the Right Moment
Bring it up in a relaxed, private setting, not in the middle of an intimate moment or right after one. A calm evening at home or a casual conversation over dinner works well.
Lead With Curiosity, Not Criticism
Frame the idea as something exciting to try together, not as a fix for something missing. For example: “I’ve been curious about trying a toy together. Would you be open to it?” This makes it clear that the goal is shared fun.
Listen and Be Open
Your partner may be excited, hesitant or have questions. All of these reactions are normal. Listen without pressure, answer honestly and give them time to think about it.
Browse Together
Looking at toys together online can make the conversation feel lighter and more playful. It also helps you both find something you’re curious about, rather than one person choosing alone.
Choosing Your First Couples’ Toy
The best first toy is simple, easy to use and comfortable for both of you. Here are some great options to start with.
Vibrating Rings
A vibrating ring is one of the most popular first toys for couples. It’s worn at the base of the penis and adds gentle vibration during intercourse, which can create extra sensation for both partners. Many people also find rings help them feel firmer and last a little longer.
Best for: couples who want to add something new without changing their routine.
[Explore our Rings & Sleeves →]
Wand Massagers
Wands deliver deep, rumbly vibrations and are easy to use together. One partner can use the wand on the other during foreplay, or it can be held in place during intimacy for extra clitoral stimulation. Wands can also be used for a relaxing full-body massage.
Best for: couples who enjoy strong sensations and want a versatile toy.
[Explore our Wand Massagers →]
Wearable and App-Controlled Vibrators
Some vibrators are designed specifically for couples. Wearable designs can be worn during intercourse to stimulate both partners at once, while app-controlled toys let one partner control the vibration, even from a distance. Brands like We-Vibe are known for these innovative designs.
Best for: couples who love technology or are in a long-distance relationship.
[Explore our Vibrating Devices →]
Blindfolds and Soft Restraints
Not every couples’ toy needs to vibrate. A simple blindfold heightens other senses, making every touch feel more intense. Soft cuffs add an element of playful trust. These are a gentle, beginner-friendly way to explore new dynamics together.
Best for: couples who want to explore anticipation, trust and playful power.
[Explore our Restraints & Blindfolds →]
Tips for Your First Time Using Toys Together
- Start slow. Begin with the lowest settings and build up gradually. There’s no rush.
- Use plenty of lube. Water-based lube makes everything smoother and works with all toy materials.
- Keep communicating. Check in with each other during and after. Simple questions like “How does this feel?” go a long way.
- Keep it playful. If something feels awkward or doesn’t work, laugh about it and try something else. The goal is to enjoy each other.
- Agree on boundaries. Especially with restraints and blindfolds, talk beforehand about what you’re both comfortable with, and agree on a simple word that means stop.
Consent Comes First
Every new experience should be something you both want. Consent should be clear, enthusiastic and ongoing, which means either partner can change their mind at any time. A toy should always add to your connection, never create pressure.
Frequently Asked Questions
Will my partner feel replaced by a toy?
This is a common worry. Explaining that the toy is something to enjoy together, not a substitute, usually puts it to rest. Many couples find toys bring them closer.
What’s the best first toy for couples?
A vibrating ring or a wand massager is a great place to start. Both are easy to use, comfortable and add new sensations for both partners.
Can we share one toy?
Yes, as long as it’s made from body-safe, non-porous materials like silicone. Always clean it before and after each use, and consider using a condom on toys if you switch between partners or between internal and external use.
What lube should we use?
Water-based lube is the safest choice. It works with all toy materials and condoms. Avoid silicone-based lube with silicone toys, as it can damage the surface.
Will our order arrive discreetly?
Yes. Every Nyxxa order ships in plain, unmarked packaging, and your bank statement shows a neutral billing name.
Exploring Together
Introducing toys into your relationship is all about curiosity, communication and fun. Start with an open conversation, choose a simple toy you’re both excited about and take your time exploring. The most important part isn’t the toy itself. It’s the experience of discovering something new together.
[Shop all toys for couples at Nyxxa →]
